Peter: They will clean up all your talking of a manner such as this.
Brian: They will make you take a tinkle when you wanna take a piss.
Stewie: And they make you call Felacio a trouser-friendly kiss,
All: Is the plain situation, there's no negotiation...
Peter: With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!

Brian: Their as stuffy as the stuffiest of special intrest groups.
Peter: Make a joke about your bowels, and they order in the troops.
Stewie: Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops,
All: Take a tip, take a lesson, you'll never win by messin'
Peter: With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!

And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing....
Your'e gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling!
(cuz' you can't say penis)

So they'll send you this little warning; theyr'e prepared to do their worst.
Brian: And they stuck it in your mailbox hoping you could be coherst.
Stewie: I could think of quite another place they should've stuck it first,
All: They may just be neurotic, or possibly psycotic
With the fellas' at the freakin' FCC!